Post Truths

What they posted. What they meant.

Each piece starts from a public figure's exact post. Folded, it's what they said, word for word. Unfolded, the lines open up and the quiet part comes out. Satire, with the receipts under each one.

Elon Musk · · between the lines
Read it

What was posted

Going forward, all advertising on 𝕏 will
be subject to a reasonable esthetic standard.
Advertisers who post ads that are
ugly, shrill, strident or overstate
claims about their product
will be barred from advertising.

What's hidden

Going forward, all advertising on 𝕏 will
be as free as speech on 𝕏, meaning it will
be subject to a reasonable esthetic standard.
Advertisers who post ads that are
less beautiful than a Cybertruck, which is to say
ugly, shrill, strident or overstate
(in all caps, at 3 a.m., which is my brand)
claims about their product
or about me, which is the same thing,
will be barred from advertising.

Elon Musk · · between the lines
Read it

What was posted

Starshield systems are owned and
controlled by the US government. Any
limits on speed or usage are decided by
the US military and ultimately
POTUS. Starlink is a commercial service
owned and controlled by SpaceX. Usage
of Starlink is limited to civilian or
defensive activities and cannot be used
for offensive military action, as
doing so would be
inappropriate for a commercial company.

What's hidden

Starshield systems are owned and
operated by SpaceX, but on paper
controlled by the US government. Any
limits on speed or usage are decided by
whoever I last talked to, which, per the Telegraph, was
the US military and ultimately
the man who says “it wasn’t me,” a.k.a.
POTUS. Starlink is a commercial service
owned and controlled by SpaceX. Usage
of Starlink is limited to civilian or
— as of this week’s speed cap, not even —
defensive activities and cannot be used
for offensive military action, as
doing so would be
bad for European sales (Telegraph) — er,
inappropriate for a commercial company.

Sources

Donald J. Trump · · between the lines
Read it

What was posted

The White House is not instituting an
assault on the Free Press, something which
I cherish. It is instituting an assault
on the FAKE NEWS, something that has grown
like Cancer in our beloved United States
of America. It is corrupt, purposeful,
pervasive, fully coordinated, and totally
out of control. It is a threat to our
National Security, and must be stopped, NOW!
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
President DONALD J. TRUMP

What's hidden

The White House is not instituting an
assault on the Free Press, something which
pays my library $16 million, and which
I cherish. It is instituting an assault
on the AP, which still says Gulf of Mexico, and
on the FAKE NEWS, something that has grown
fat on my ratings, frankly, and spreads
like Cancer in our beloved United States
of America. It is corrupt, purposeful,
unflattering, a total Enemy of the People,
pervasive, fully coordinated, and totally
out of control. It is a threat to our
Dear Leader, which is me, and therefore to
National Security, and must be stopped, NOW!
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
President DONALD J. TRUMP

Sources

Donald J. Trump · · between the lines
Read it

What was posted

Tremendous work has been done
on the magnificent BALLROOM/MILITARY
COMPLEX being built on the grounds of
the White House! Presidents have wanted
this for 150 years, and so has everyone
else. It will give the White House, and
all of D.C., Great National Security.
The Project is
under budget, and ahead of schedule!
The Ballroom will be paid for with
ZERO Dollars of Taxpayer Money. Great
American Patriots and Companies are
footing the entire bill.
President DONALD J. TRUMP

What's hidden

Tremendous work has been done
ignoring a judge who said Congress must sign off, and
on the magnificent BALLROOM/MILITARY
COMPLEX being built on the grounds of
what was, until last October, the East Wing of
the White House! Presidents have wanted
a ballroom about as much as a moat. I have wanted
this for 150 years, and so has everyone
who donated and needs a favor. Nobody
else. It will give the White House, and
all of D.C., Great National Security.
The Project is
up from $200 million to $600 million, yet
under budget, and ahead of schedule!
The Ballroom will be paid for with
about $300 million in public money, not
ZERO Dollars of Taxpayer Money. Great
American Patriots and Companies are
footing the entire bill.
President DONALD J. TRUMP

Sources